By Barton Goldsmith/Tribune News Service

The energy you get from all the people who care about you is a gift. People who have close relationships and friendships with others generally live longer and fuller lives. However, sometimes it can be very scary to try to make a new friend.
It’s important to realise how very much we need each other to get along in this world. And I firmly believe that we are meant to interact and have relationships with one another. If not, then why are there so many people on the planet?
We are not meant to be alone, though there will always be misanthropes who don’t like other people. The desire to have someone to relate to or bond with is human nature and rooted deeply in our DNA. When we long for contact with others and have little or none at all, it can make for a very depressing life.
They say the best way to make a friend is to be one, and I agree. When people do nice things for each other, everyone feels good, and trust begins to develop.
Most friendships start off slowly and grow over time. A relationship or friendship that fires up too quickly may tend to burn out at the same pace.
Workplaces can be a great place to start, as most people want to grab a bite or have a drink after their day is done, so it can be an easy way to find someone to hang with. It will be easy for you to make conversation because you already have work in common.
Office gossip is always available to get a chat started, though I don’t recommend you make it your entire interchange. People get to know each other by asking questions and sharing stories about their lives.
Have you told your story to others? What questions do you have for some of your coworkers?
If you’re looking for a conversational topic that’s less personal, you can talk about what’s happening in the world. There’s always plenty to talk about. And being in agreement isn’t necessary.
In fact, not being of the same opinion can make for a much more interesting conversation, but remember never to put other people down or write them off just because they have a different outlook on some subjects.
To make or be a good friend, you have to keep your values high and extend yourself if someone you know is in need. By just answering a simple question or helping a person lift a box, you can start a conversation and create a friendship, but you have to put yourself out there a little.
So the next time you see someone you’d like to get to know better, look for an opportunity to say so by lending a hand or sharing something meaningful. The results will be beneficial to both of you.
It’s also important to remember that when you feel the need, you can always reach out to someone you know who cares about you. By pushing past your fears, you will develop great relationships.

- Dr Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, California, is the author of The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time. Follow his daily insights on Twitter at @BartonGoldsmith, or email him at Barton@bartongoldsmith.com