Do you worry about the safety and security of our world? People seem to be clashing over many different issues these days. For all of us, preserving a sense of community should be a top priority. We need to bring people together and forge strong connections.
Imagine for a moment that you live in a beautiful home worth $2mn. But, let’s say you live there totally alone, feeling cut off from people.
Now picture yourself living in a small cottage. Let’s say that people you love hang out with you a lot.
The latter vision is likely more appealing to most of us.
An empty house is no fun. The richness of our lives is determined by the people we have near us. Most of us know this.
But instead of guarding our relationships, we get tempted to jump into all kinds of fights.
Some people are angry with people within their own neighbourhoods.
Some are angry with entire groups of people – people of another religion, immigrants from certain countries, or rich people, for example.
What’s interesting to note, however, is that all people around the globe are more alike than different. We all want love from family members, a nice home, peace, and a host of other things. As individuals, we likely agree on more things than we disagree on.
To increase the stability of our world, we have to stop flaunting our differences.
“Years ago, my friends and I used to debate abortion issue for hours,” says a friend of ours we’ll call Kay. “But now, we realise it’s one of those gray areas.
We can totally disagree with someone’s view and still not get into a squabble.”
A woman we’ll refer to as Andrea says women’s liberation used to keep her awake at night.
“Thirty-five years ago, I absolutely hated anyone who told me women should think twice about working full time and having kids,” says Andrea.
“Well, now I know that it would be lovely if men and women could each work 30 hours a week and enjoy their kids more,” she continues. “I’ve matured, and I see things differently now.”
To build strong communities and closeness with others, it pays to avoid getting stuck in our opinions. We need to appreciate people who think a little differently than we do. They might cast some light on situations that we haven’t thought of.

These tips can help bring deeply divided people together:
*Learn to pay compliments to people you disagree with. For example, you may dislike a certain politician, but you’ll grow as a person if you look for his or her strong points. Get in the habit of looking for the best in others.
*Pay attention not to hurt  people. People tend to act out what they can’t talk about. If you are in a position of leadership, ask for others to give you suggestions for positive change. Give those around you a voice.
*Lighten up when things get dark. Use a sense of humour and avoid dwelling on negative things. Thinking negatively keeps you from coming up with solutions or compromises.
*Talk about what you’d like to see happen. It’s amazing how much we can influence others if we keep talking with a positive spirit. Keep in mind that you can only “sell” positive ideas to other people. Few people like to buy into negative-sounding plans or goals.

We need to appreciate people who think a little differently than we do

*Judi Light Hopson is the executive director of the stress management website USA Wellness Cafe at
www.usawellnesscafe.com. Emma Hopson is an author and a nurse educator. Ted Hagen is a family psychologist.