It all started quite innocently enough. We met online, Groupon, to be exact. I didn’t go there to meet anyone. I was just casually distributing my disposable income. But truth be told, I had always wanted her or any of her sisters. Those curves were irresistible, and the fact that she lived to clean made my heart all atwitter. Flonase only goes so far.
Love affairs begin in the strangest of ways. I can’t say I trusted that it was right at first, so I let her linger on the Internet for quite a while. It could have just faded away with time, or a restart, but along came this e-mail making me a very seductive offer. The Spirits were speaking to me and saying this was meant to be. This frugal clean freak was now contemplating bringing another one into the home.
As I pushed the purchase button, things did not go smoothly. Was this a sign that things would not go well in this new relationship? Many questions passed through my mind, but I saw no red flags. I was ready to commit. Just as soon as I was able to get the computer to accept my offer (and discount), I excitedly entered the 21st century.
She arrived at my door casually attired in a single cardboard box. I gently escorted her into the kitchen, where I knew she would be spending most of her time. I’ve never thought the mail order bride thing was even possible, but she is actually doing as advertised. I can now say that I am the grateful new owner of Rosie, a Roomba vacuum-cleaning robot, and I am in love.
I grew up in a house that was cleaned daily. To me that was normal, and I didn’t realise that my mom was a little OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). In fact, it wasn’t until I went to college and lived in a frat house that I realised two things: one, most young guys have absolutely no sense of cleanliness, and two, I am allergic to everything.
My sneezing is epic. I have scared small children. I was in a restaurant restroom once, washing up, and blew my nose into a paper towel. There were two little boys in there too (about eight and five). The younger one was in the stall, and when his brother asked, “Are you coming out?” the boy responded, “I don’t know. Is there a monster out there?” The eight-year-old just looked at me like Yoda saying, “Fixed, get that now.”
I usually have one sneezing attack daily, but since Rosie the Roomba entered my life, I’m doing better. I can’t believe the amount of hair and dirt that she vacuums up each time she runs. This robot has improved my life, and I am already saving for another one in the future. Nothing can work that hard and last forever.
The truth is that I took a gamble and gave myself a gift, even though I wasn’t sure it would perform. Much to my surprise, this thing has become a part of the family. The dogs play with her, the cat rides on her, and our house is just a little bit nicer. Who would have thought that something so weird would become a valued member of the household?

*Dr Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, California, is the author of The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time. Follow his daily insights on Twitter at @BartonGoldsmith, or e-mail him at 
Barton@bartongoldsmith.com